Time to put the gloves back on

     I blew it again--I have done more than overeat.  This weekend was one long continuous binge. Not only that but I haven't been giving my all to my workouts and have even been skipping them all together. THIS IS IT!  I REFUSE to let myself undo all the hard work I have done to get my sparkle back.  Right now the only person who is trying to dull my sparkle is the old me trying to resurface.   I have overcome so much on this journey and I'm not going to throw in the towel now.   It's time to dig myself out of this self-defeating frame of mind and remember how far I have come and how great I felt when this picture was taken:

 

I was shining bright and on top of the world that day. Nothing was going to break my spirit or dull my sparkle--this was the moment I had been fighting so hard for. So what happens, I reach that huge milestone and a few short weeks later I am finding myself stressed out, unable to sleep, dwelling on the past, skipping workouts and going on all out binges not caring what crap I put in my mouth???  I am supposed to weigh in tomorrow and to be honest it would not surprise me if it shows that I'm back over 200 lbs. But I cannot let the number on the scale be an excuse to continue allowing myself to derail. I will NOT continue to breathe life into the old me who was filled with self-hatred and fear. It's about time I start to believe the new me is here to stay and the old me no longer exists.

    Tomorrow is the start of a new week and a new chapter in my journey.  It's time to put the boxing gloves on, trust in my inner strength and crush whatever obstacle stands in my way. No more skipping workouts or eating like crap. I will devise a plan to get back on track. I will plan out my meals, commit to my workouts and devise a plan to start tackling the stress I am under.  I will claim my power and knockout that voice telling me it's getting too difficult to continue. I am determined to fight for the life I want to live and not let fear or anything else hold me back. I will persevere!