A lot of people, even people I do not know, have been asking me what my plan is and how I have been able to stick with it. So I thought I would share what has been working for me so far.
Nutrition: For an emotional eater like me this can be the hardest obstacle to tackle. When I first met with Kyle, he laid out my basic guidelines: 1300-1500 calories per day (I was probably drinking a third or more of that in pop a day!), have protein with every meal, eat mostly unprocessed, natural foods and each day strive for 40% protein, 40% carbs and 20% fats. I eat a lot of chicken, salads, fruits, veggies, tuna, cottage cheese and greek yogurt. Greek yogurt has become my go to for snacks but I also use plain greek yogurt instead of mayo or sour cream. I love to mix it with salsa and use it as a topping for baked potatoes or anything Mexican. I have cut way back on breads, pasta and pop. I do get one 32 oz diet cherry vanilla coke on the weekends but other than that I drink mostly water. I try to drink at least 128 oz each day. I still splurge a little on the weekends so I don't feel deprived, but I try to stay within my calorie range.
What has been vital to my plan is writing down ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I
eat or drink in my food journal. I use a calendar that has enough room
to write in for each day and fits into my purse. Kyle goes through my food journal at each assessment (at my first
assessment I was so nervous about this part--I would have rather given
him my diary of my deepest darkest secrets than let him read what I ate
every day).
This notebook has become so much more than just a place where I write down my food, water intake and workouts for the day. In a way it's becoming another record of my journey. I use the calendar as a tool to help keep me motivated. I keep my before and "current" pictures (I don't want to say after because I still have a long way to go...my after pic won't be until I hit goal!), quotes and scriptures that help inspire me, special words of support I have received from others through cards and e-mails, and notes about my successes aka woo-hoo moments and stumbles.
Workouts: My easiest answer for this is: I do what Kyle tells me to do. I do three strength training workouts a week (Tuesdays, Thursdays and either Saturday or Sunday) each focusing on different areas followed by at least a half hour of cardio. Two of my strength training sessions are with Kyle and the third I do on my own. Then I usually go to the gym for 30-60 minutes of cardio on Mondays, Wednesdays and when I can on Fridays. I usually do the elliptical for my cardio but will use the treadmill on an incline at times too. On Saturday mornings Stacy, my friend Jill and I try to get together to jog/walk for a while. We try to do a timed mile at our own paces and then will walk some more laps together.
I admit I have had to make some financial sacrifices in order to have a trainer, but it's been worth every penny. The way I look at it, the road I was heading down would end up costing me A LOT and not just financially. Working with Kyle has really been key in my journey. He can push me beyond what I think I am capable of and would never attempt on my own. Sometimes when he is adding more and more weights or having me do something out of my comfort zone (like the one armed rows where I was afraid I would fall backwards) I swear I won't be able to do it, but I do what he tells me to do and what do you know, I can do it. That alone has really helped build my confidence and made me feel stronger than I give myself credit for.
Keeping Motivated: I get asked a lot how I keep motivated and stick to my plan. This is harder for me to answer because there are so many things that play into this. When I started this journey I was at such a low place in my life, I hated myself and I was close to just giving up. I was tired of going through the motions of life and being unhappy. So I made the choice that I had to make long term changes in my life and part of that was to be completely honest with myself about what my bad habits and poor self-esteem were doing to me and in turn to Toby. That helped me make the first steps and since then every little milestone I reach keeps me going (all those woo-hoo moments I've talked about before). Like this weekend I realized that I am probably the lowest weight I have been since high school. I was in the dressing room at Goody's and wanted to try a size 20W to see if I was getting anywhere close to that size. In March a pant size 28W was tight and Friday one pair of size 20W pants fit and another pair was too big. I can't tell you how many times in the past I would get mad or depressed in dressing rooms because nothing would fit right. This time I was dancing! That keeps me motivated and makes it easier to pass up things like sweets or greasy junk food. I'm in no way saying I will never have another mozzarella stick or hot fudge sundae again (in fact I succumbed to stress eating last Tuesday after a horrible day and had a hot fudge sundae after work not to mention the frozen margarita later that night--I'm still a work in progress and always will be). It's just for the most part I try to think about how great it will feel to meet my goals and that means a lot more to me than how good something would taste right then. Even when I have a bad eating day or don't feel like I pushed hard enough during a workout, I try to forgive myself for the mess up and strive to do better the next time. If I would have gone overboard a few months ago, instead of it being one evening I would get mad and frustrated at myself and just give up.
I definitely would not have made it this far without a great support system. They help keep me motivated as well as hold me accountable. I can turn to Stacy, Kyle, Jenn-my best friend from college, Jill and others when I need a little extra support, a hug or even a lecture (I can hear Jenn now telling me to stop selling myself short and to have a little faith in myself). And I admit other people's comments really do lift me up. Someone that I hadn't seen in a while told me tonight that I looked beautiful and was glowing. That made my day, especially since I don't see myself as pretty at all (but I didn't say ugly like I normally do so I am making a little progress). I've even had a few people tell me I have inspired them to start their own journeys or that these posts have brought them to tears. That touches me more than I could ever explain and makes me want to keep working hard.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
A Bump in the Road
Every journey has its ups and downs and this week has definitely been more down than up. Just when I thought I had the emotional eating conquered, this past Sunday was pretty much all emotional eating. Granted I didn't do as bad as what I would have a few months ago but still deep dish pizza probably wasn't the best meal choice when feeling down. That little voice that was getting quieter started speaking up loud and clear the past few days. Starting Saturday night all those thoughts of not being worthy started creeping back in to my mind. I admit the feelings came on after a conversation with my ex-husband. I know I shouldn't have gotten upset by finding out he's living with someone now, especially since I have absolutely NO desire to be with him but to be completely honest with myself I have to acknowledge that was what got me down. The now loud voice in my head started in again with all the negative crap about being ugly, fat and forever alone. I found myself feeling like a failure because I couldn't make my marriage work and for letting myself be so unhappy for so long.
All day Sunday all I wanted to do was sleep or eat. So I did a lot of sleeping and a little too much eating. Then by Sunday evening I was feeling guilty and mad at myself. I imagine a lot of people can identify with that vicious cycle. It starts with feeling a little down or mad, lose some self control and eat too much or whatever your destructive habit is then feel lousy and mad at yourself because you weren't strong enough to overcome what got you down in the first place. I probably should have just gone to the gym and worked out but Sunday is my day off and I chose the more destructive path. At least Monday I had more control over the emotional eating and I did go workout and for the most part back on track. It has just been difficult to quiet that voice again. I've spent over 25 years of my life telling myself I was ugly and not worthy of being loved and I know it's going to take a lot longer than a few months to bury those feelings forever. I hope that one day I can look in the mirror and see a pretty face looking back. I just don't see that. And if I can't see that, how could anyone else?
So although I have made huge strides in getting my sparkle back I still have a long way to go and a lot of issues to work through. Some people will probably think I'm crazy for writing this and putting it out there for anyone to see, but I know there are other people who have these internal battles and maybe by sharing my down times as well as the good I can help someone else work through their pain while helping myself with mine. I think not letting those down times turn into a downward spiral shows that I am making progress. Yes I lost some control on Sunday and wallowed in my self pity and I was in a funk for most of this week but I could have completely given up and not cared anymore like I have done so many times in the past.
I did get out of my funk but not by myself. It was actually a Facebook post that snapped me back to where I needed to be. Kyle had shared my blog on his Facebook page as an update to my "amazing story" as he put it. But it was the part he wrote about what challenges we could face in our lives if we found my courage that really got me. The tears started flowing because I have never considered myself courageous, quite the opposite actually. I've been fearful of so many things in my life and I'm sure that fear played a big part in getting to 338 pounds. I'm slowly realizing that it has taken courage to make the changes I've made in my life this year. It definitely takes courage to document and share some of my innermost thoughts and fears. All this makes me vulnerable but also makes me stronger.
All day Sunday all I wanted to do was sleep or eat. So I did a lot of sleeping and a little too much eating. Then by Sunday evening I was feeling guilty and mad at myself. I imagine a lot of people can identify with that vicious cycle. It starts with feeling a little down or mad, lose some self control and eat too much or whatever your destructive habit is then feel lousy and mad at yourself because you weren't strong enough to overcome what got you down in the first place. I probably should have just gone to the gym and worked out but Sunday is my day off and I chose the more destructive path. At least Monday I had more control over the emotional eating and I did go workout and for the most part back on track. It has just been difficult to quiet that voice again. I've spent over 25 years of my life telling myself I was ugly and not worthy of being loved and I know it's going to take a lot longer than a few months to bury those feelings forever. I hope that one day I can look in the mirror and see a pretty face looking back. I just don't see that. And if I can't see that, how could anyone else?
So although I have made huge strides in getting my sparkle back I still have a long way to go and a lot of issues to work through. Some people will probably think I'm crazy for writing this and putting it out there for anyone to see, but I know there are other people who have these internal battles and maybe by sharing my down times as well as the good I can help someone else work through their pain while helping myself with mine. I think not letting those down times turn into a downward spiral shows that I am making progress. Yes I lost some control on Sunday and wallowed in my self pity and I was in a funk for most of this week but I could have completely given up and not cared anymore like I have done so many times in the past.
I did get out of my funk but not by myself. It was actually a Facebook post that snapped me back to where I needed to be. Kyle had shared my blog on his Facebook page as an update to my "amazing story" as he put it. But it was the part he wrote about what challenges we could face in our lives if we found my courage that really got me. The tears started flowing because I have never considered myself courageous, quite the opposite actually. I've been fearful of so many things in my life and I'm sure that fear played a big part in getting to 338 pounds. I'm slowly realizing that it has taken courage to make the changes I've made in my life this year. It definitely takes courage to document and share some of my innermost thoughts and fears. All this makes me vulnerable but also makes me stronger.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)