Stuck in a Rut?

      What do you do when you start feeling stuck?  How do you get past just going through the motions?  Off and on throughout the past several months I have felt like I'm on a wheel spinning and not really going anywhere.  I get up at 3:30am, hit the gym at 4. Go to work. Go back to the gym after work. Come home and try to get a few things done and have some family time. Pass out around 11-11:30 then get up the next day to do it all over again.  My workouts have pretty much been the same...4 lifting days: Deadlift, Bench, Squat and Overhead Press. Fasting cardio and a little lifting and core work in the mornings. Zumba twice a week.   I still love going to the gym (and shaking my booty in Zumba) and not lacking motivation to get there or do my workouts, however just feel like I'm not making any progress. I know that's my fault because my nutrition is spot on Monday-Thursday then Friday-Sunday has been a free for all. It started with a cheat meal here and there then I'd have a fun busy weekend (i.e. a concert and 2 reunions all in the same weekend) and would indulge in food and alcohol (and lots of both). In the past I would always beat myself up when I would stray from plan and I had to work on not being so hard on myself. I loosened the reigns, got out of my clean eating routine and before I knew it was going on binges again and not just little binges...full all-out-eat-everything-in-sight-go-back-to-the-store-for-more type binges----I just wasn't beating myself up or feeling like a failure so I thought all was well. Then on Monday I'd be back on plan.

     Hit Repeat.
   
     Here I am ready to take hold of the reigns again but how do I get unstuck? What is it that makes us want to say "hey wait a minute this isn't working, I'm not going anywhere or even going backwards"? How do I change my mindset and break down the barriers I myself created that have stalled my progress? Perhaps the first step is to figure out what is most important to me. [A little side note---before anyone says but x should be more important than fitness goals etc...for this blog entry most important to me is pertaining to my personal fitness/well-being journey...my son, family etc are the most important thing in my life and me working to improve myself helps me give my very best me to them  :) ]  So I have contemplated, wrote...thought some more and re-wrote and came up with my top 5:

What's most important to me:

Be a sparkly bad-ass super girl--For me, that means being a strong, empowered, brave, confident, beautiful woman who isn't afraid of pushing past obstacles. Someone whose personality shines through and touches others. Someone who is constantly pushing herself to be better than she was yesterday. Someone who isn't afraid to go into beast mode and tackle whatever comes her way. Someone who pulls out her sparkly cape when she needs to and cannot be defeated. 

Me feeling sparkly

Me feeling like the bad-ass super girl

Inspire and motivate others--I want to share that spark with others and inspire them to create their own sparkle to transform their lives. I want to be there for others to help coach, support and encourage them to live healthier and happier lives.   I ultimately want to be a personal trainer, well more like a life coach and share my passion for fitness and healthier living.  

 Reaching a healthy weight and body fat percentage--I've always had the number 169  in my mind as the weight goal I wanted to reach and 25% as my body fat percentage. That would be half of where I started (over half on body fat since when I first started it didn't register since was somewhere above 50%). 192 is the lowest I've ever seen on the scale and my body fat hasn't gotten below 36%.  But I had to back off weigh ins and focus on other things because I was becoming obsessive with the scale and letting it effect my moods and confidence. I had to get to the point where when I did weigh and measure if it wasn't where I thought it should be I didn't self-destruct. I knew when I needed to get back to it. However I then think I became complacent. Convinced myself that maybe that was it, I had lost all I was going to which resulted in gaining and losing the same 10-15 pounds--Getting stuck in a rut and not really getting anywhere.  Since I've been in this pattern of doing great through the week and lousy on the weekends my weight is back up to 220 and body fat 38%.  I AM at a different place mentally now and I want to break through the plateau and get back to working towards my original weight goal--just making sure I keep a healthier mindset. 

 Persevere/Never Give Up--  I want to keep challenging myself physically whether it be lifting heavy, competing or just getting in the best possible shape I can.  I want to get my body fat % and weight to a place where I truly want to maintain and not feel like this is where I'm stuck. I want to conquer the ups and downs with my mindset, get my nutrition where I need and want it to be to provide the best fuel for my body. I want to keep fighting for all the things that are important to me, even when it's only myself that keeps holding me back.  I want to be like the Phoneix who rises up from the ashes time and time again--brighter and stronger each time. 

 And  finally, yes, I admit it....I want a smoking hot body  :-)  -- who doesn't??  Okay this isn't the absolute most important thing but there was a time when I struggled to look in a mirror because I felt so ugly and unworthy. That time has long since passed and I will never forget that moment when I looked in the mirror and for the first time ever saw a pretty face smiling back. I'm proud of the work I've put in and the changes living healthier have done for my body (in ability AND appearance). Most of the time I do feel beautiful, but  there is always room for improvement.  I want to rock a sexy black dress--okay another sexier one because I did get into my goal size 14 little black dress I had bought when I was a size 24.  I want to build a more defined muscular and leaner appearance and as I work towards the other things on my list this too shall come. 

I realize it has come time to shake things up, set forth on a new path with a new attitude, strive for my original goals and not backing down until I achieve them. I do have a new plan I started September 1 and I'm excited (with a little fear) to start this next chapter of my journey. I hope to not only share the ups and downs along the way but hopefully reach out to those of you who may feel stuck right now as well. I encourage you to take just 10 minutes and think about what is important to you on your journey. Where do you want to be? What goals have you put aside for whatever reason? Are you ready to take your next step with me?